What Kind of Love Are You Talking About? Redefining True Connection

Lately, I have developed a strong impression that words have lost their true meaning. We say one thing, mean another, and ultimately understand something entirely different. Today, we are focusing on Love.

Let us begin with the primary etymology of the word. According to the etymological hypothesis accepted in the Dictionary of Ancient Greek by Robert Beekes:

ἀγαπῶ < ἄγα(ν) “much” + πᾶ- “to protect” (from the root *pa- “to protect”), which literally translates to “to protect deeply”.

The Million-Dollar Question: Do You Protect Yourself?

To protect deeply… Indeed. This brings us to the critical question: Do you protect yourself sufficiently? Because if you do not protect yourself effectively, you are structurally incapable of protecting anyone else.

I argue that the definitions of our words have faded for various reasons, but primarily because they have lost their emotional weight. They are either spoken with extreme ease, or they are used misinterpretatively in place of another concept. If an emotional barometer existed with a scale from 1 to 10, the word love should firmly rest at 10.

Countless times, with minor variations, the following dialogue has taken place in my therapy room:

• Psychologist: “What do you feel for them?”
• Client: “I love them… I guess. But I don’t know. I don’t want to spend all my time with them, and honestly, I don’t feel safe expressing my true thoughts and feelings.”
• Psychologist: “Then what kind of love is this? What does love actually mean and symbolize to you?”
• Client: “Hmm… Maybe I just mean that I have a good time when we are together?”

And another, far more painful dialogue:

• Client: “They treat me poorly… They speak to me harshly, and they have even hit me a couple of times, but I know they love me.”
• Psychologist: “So you are telling me that they express their love for you through the abusive actions you just described?”
• Outcome: Silence and tears…

What Kind of Love Are You Talking About?

• The kind that exists in hollow, superficial relationships around you? The ones you maintain simply because you are terrified of leaving?
• The kind that you don’t actually feel in your body, the one that fails to bring creative color to your life?
• The kind that restricts your personal growth, leaving you with a painful, constant knot in your stomach instead of a felt sense of peace?

Do you genuinely know how to tell the difference?

Authentic Caring

Have you ever pondered how you express, but also how you receive love? Do you actively try to protect those around you? Do you feel genuine gratitude for the love you are offered?

A reliable way to gauge how much we truly care for another person is to observe how high we have placed their happiness and well-being on our list of priorities. Without this process becoming, of course, mechanical or obsessive.

Speak to me of love… but this time, let us REDEFINE it entirely.

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🎯 Reclaiming Dignity Within Your Partnership

Our inability to set healthy boundaries and protect ourselves is intimately linked to wounded areas of our Self-Esteem. If you find yourself tolerating behaviors that cause you pain in the name of an illusionary love, Individual Therapy can guide you toward breaking the cycle of emotional dependency.

Through specialized Couples Therapy, we reconstruct the terms of your connection, learning to cultivate love that is rooted in mutual respect, freedom, and true emotional security.